Big Fat Gypsy Babies

I have written before about my Lile's love for shoes. Sábha also loves footwear. Not as much as her sister, it's true, but enough to get quite excited when she gets a new pair!

They enjoy playing with the shoe basket almost everyday... trying on every shoe... over and over again. They are learning to help me tidy up afterwards!

This evening, my brother arrived with a gift for the girls. His fiancée and he found them on sale last week and just couldn't wait for their birthday to gift them... and so here they are!!

Tiny, little, pink satin, high-heeled, butterfly-sequin party shoes.

They are hilarious! The girls look ridiculously funny clacking around in them. They are slightly too big, which, somehow, makes them even sweeter.

They are little bit Suri Cruise, a little bit this (click 'this' to understand the title of this post)... but the girls are head over heels(!) in LOVE with them.

Best. Dressing-up shoes. EVER!

In fact, Lile brought all four shoes to bed with her. I had to sneak them away after she had fallen asleep to take this picture.

I think I may have trouble convincing the girls that these are not suitable as everyday footwear...

Fragile

Most days pass by in a blur of routine. Most days nothing remarkable happens. Most days I get up. I tend to my babes. I go to work or not. I eat. I talk. I listen. I read. I cook. I clean. Things happen and then more things happen. I do things and then I do more things. I sleep. Most days. Most days are common, ordinary days, full of the little things in life that are mostly unremarkable in and of themselves.

Some days, however, are remarkable. Some days there is something in the air that doesn't quite feel the same. Maybe a heaviness in the atmosphere... maybe not... sometimes a remarkable day can trick you into believing it is just another ordinary one. So that when the remarkable thing happens you will really notice it. It will really stand out.You will really, really notice it and it will change something. Sometimes it can change everything.

Yesterday started out in an almost ordinary way, except that I went to work instead of working from home as I usually do on a Friday. I got the bus to work and sipped peppermint tea from my travel mug. I took this crappy picture.

It was a little warmer out than it has been and I took off my scarf as I walked from the bus stop towards my office... a cool breeze started and I put it on again...

I met a colleague as I approached our building and we began a brief chat about how glad we were that it was almost the weekend. There was a man, high on a ladder, washing the second floor windows of our tall Georgian building. We walked a few  more steps together, my colleague and I, and agreed that it had been a hectic week... and then... all of a sudden and with no warning, the man on the ladder was falling... the ladder bending and coming apart in the middle... and he was falling and clawing at thin air... and we were running as if to try and catch him... and we were at the steps of our building and he had fallen, 40? 50? feet, down to the basement level, narrowly missing the black, spiked railing. There was a woman crying and a man clambering over the railings to help him. There were people on the phone to emergency services and passers by holding each other and people in the offices across the road standing at all of the windows with hands over their mouths. Faces stricken. My hands were over my mouth too, blood rushing and roaring in my ears.  I was shaking and I could see his legs...twisted on the metal staircase that leads to the basement entrance. I didn't look down at his face... I couldn't... I physically shook for almost an hour after the ambulance came and took him away. The ladder lay mangled on the pavement.

The police are keeping us up to date on his progress. He is in critical condition, but stable. Yesterday afternoon he was just critical. Today he is critical, but stable. It seems like a contradiction in terms... but what comfort that word 'stable' brings. It brings hope... and I am hoping so hard that he will be ok... hoping that he has friends and family around him comforting and supporting him... hoping that he will pull through... hoping, hoping, hoping, hoping that he will be ok. Just be ok.

I am sitting here quietly now and I am acutely aware of how fragile life is. I am thinking about how easily life can change... how quickly everything can unravel... how, at the flick of a switch the routine can falter and break... how all of those little unremarkable things - the eating, talking, listening, cooking, cleaning, tending, working, sleeping, doing can be utterly altered... or even taken away completely...

... and I am grateful. Grateful for the health and happiness of my loved ones. Grateful for the way my colleagues have pulled together and checked in with each other regularly, even though it's the weekend. Grateful that I live in a country with accessible health care and speedy emergency services.

I am grateful for the unremarkable. Grateful that I get to continue with the blur of my routine... most grateful for my unremarkable days.

Update: He is out of ICU and continuing to improve. 

Pride Comes Before A Fall

So, we took part in this wonderful exhibition recently!

Our room is second from the top in the middle row.

I asked the girls who lived in a small house - they said "Miss Mouse". They used their new markers to decorate the back wall. Lile chose the blue fabric for the carpet and told me that the plastic shells she found in the button box were tea-cups. 

Sábha decided the egg-carton seats I made needed cushions and chose the fabric, she also told me that the old wooden button was the light. 

They both did drawings of 'a gorilla eating an orange' to hang on the wall (they have a poster of gorillas in their own bedroom). 

I also made the table from a pesto jar lid and a wooden thread spool. Lile and Sábha are still enjoying having tea with the little boys almost everyday while we wait for 'Miss Mouse' to arrive!

(I have since found a pattern for a 'Miss Mouse' and hope to sew a duo for their 2nd birthday - which is sooner than I like to think...)

I'm so proud of the girls, the shoebox house was totally directed by them and only assembled by me because they are so very little. I'm so happy we took part in the exhibition it's given me such a buzz for the last few days to see our little room alongside all the others!

Well the buzz possibly got to my head, because a couple of nights ago, Lile cried out  - with a saturated nappy and a teething mouth. She wanted "MORE BOCKLE! MORE BOCKLE!". She has a BIG voice and I didn't want her to wake her sister so I quietened her and then hurried to get her some milk... and then I slipped... and fell down the stairs! At 4am. My body was still asleep and instantly went into shock, so that I lay curled in the foetal position, winded, while Lile cried and called "MAMA OK? MAMA OK?" over and over and Devo jumped out of bed believing that I had fallen with her in my arms - his dreams having filled in the knowledge gaps on his behalf... and little Sábha awoke last, rubbed her eyes and wondered what all the commotion was about.

Portrait of my Mother at age 12(?) painted by my Grandmother.

I didn't fall far (as you can see - there is a turn in our staircase - thankfully) but I sure fell HARD! Days later, my neck still aches. My elbow seems to look uglier with each passing hour and Devo rolls his eyes every time I mention that I feel sore. He is so OVER it. (I probably look for sympathy a little too often - but come on- as an adult you don't tend to fall down that often. It's kind of a shock to the system!)

In the cold light of day it doesn't look like much - but it HURTS!

I feel so much better after a pleasant weekend of friends, family and food - the most important things in life. These three things will never fail to cheer me up.

Spending twenty minutes throwing away some loose change in the late night gambling emporium, after a great meal with lovely people, in exchange for some bright colours, flashing lights, giggles and ... well...not a lot else really, doesn't hurt either.

100

I have finally, FINALLY reached post 100. It has taken a long time. A lot longer than I imagined it would.... but there you are! 


To mark it, I decided to post the first post I ever posted, (try saying that really fast) here in my little corner of the internet

****************************************************************. 

I've only just discovered

... where wishes come from.

Thousands of them tumbling from the thistles in my unkempt garden.

Catch them as they float by on the summer breeze
Whisper your wishes to them, then let them fly
So many wishes.... I hope they come true!

Happy Valentine's Day

Have a LOVEly day. xxx

Saddle Up!

... a Cártaí Rúbaí update...

I mentioned a little while ago that I needed to make a change in my life. I even made a resolution to that end:


"To make my life lighter and less fraught. To fill it less with things I don't really want to do but feel obligated to do and more with things that will make me smile and allow me to breathe"

I am trying to stick to this. I am learning to let go a little bit. To stop trying to grasp control over every little aspect of my life.... and so I have let go (a little bit- it's early days) of part of Cártaí Rúbaí.

I started Cártaí Rúbaí late in 2008 and have grown it (extremely) slowly and steadily to the point that my card designs are available in over 20 locations around the country, the website has attracted customers from all over the place - from Germany to the USA and I get continuous positive feedback. All of this is wonderful considering I have very little time to actually spend on the business. I mean, I have a day job and small twins and a husband and hobbies and friends I like to see from time to time and, you know, all of the things that comprise a life! So lately, Cártaí Rúbaí has been has been on the back-burner. By lately I mean, since the girls were born, almost two years ago. Yikes! What can I say? Greeting cards have not been a priority for me and I have been struggling with trying to decide what to do about it.

On the one hand I'm proud of what I have achieved. I have put a lot of work into it. There are many designs sitting on my computer just waiting for their chance to meet the printer (like the one above I designed recently especially for my brother's wedding invitation). There are many shops waiting to become stockists. I have never advertised, yet somehow people know about Cártaí Rúbaí and lots of people actually like what I'm doing... and that just floors me. It thrills me beyond belief.

On the other hand I have, of late, been feeling overwhelmed by the idea of even having my own business. I don't like doing things unless I can do them well and there aren't enough hours in my day for me to run Cártaí Rúbaí properly. To create all I want to create. To organise all I need to organise. To reach all the people I'd like to reach.

There came a point recently when it all seemed too much and I just wanted to get rid of the business. Just close it. Call it a day. Reclaim those meagre hours and use them for other things. I'm not exactly sure for what, but extra hours will always be filled when you have two toddlers! ...... But I couldn't do it. Cártaí Rúbaí is too much a part of me. Also, my family wouldn't let me. They have been wonderfully supportive of my efforts thus far and thought I was crazy to even consider shutting up shop.

But how will I do it??? Just deciding to keep the business open doesn't mean I can suddenly find that missing time! Well, my wonderful sister Cáit has stepped up to the plate and I'm proud to announce that she has agreed to partner with Cártaí Rúbaí to bring the business forward!!

Cáit has been a massive supporter since day one. She accompanied me to my very first craft fair and even donated her house, while she was on holidays, for me to use as a studio. She has always 'spread the word' about the cards to her friends and co-workers and people she meets who she thinks might be interested so, in a way, she was the obvious choice to join the company!

I'm so excited that she's on board and we're busy making plans to take over the world! Watch this space!

Winter Spring Winter

Yesterday we had a small celebration for Imbolc - the first day of Spring in our little part of the world. Some sun-shaped cookies, chocolate chip and orange mini-muffins and a candle at dinnertime.

According to Wikipedia:

"Imbolc is the day the Cailleach — the hag of Gaelic tradition — gathers her firewood for the rest of the winter. Legend has it that if she intends to make the winter last a good while longer, she will make sure the weather on Imbolc is bright and sunny, so she can gather plenty of firewood. Therefore, people are generally relieved if Imbolc is a day of foul weather, as it means the Cailleach is asleep and winter is almost over."


Yesterday was bright and sunny and, after a mild, wet November, December and January, the temperatures have plummeted. There is a hard frost and iced-over puddles in the morning. Winter, it seems, is finally beginning, just as Spring should really be taking off.

I am still unwell, though I have returned to work. This cold is lingering and lingering and has now taken hold in the little ones too. They are tired and cranky and for the first time in a long, long, long time, they want to sleep in our arms. It's exhausting, but also nice to stop and sit still and just be with them. Just be all that they need for that short time.

They were ill at this exact time last year. They are rarely ill (thankfully) so it's quite a coincidence.. or maybe not, everybody gets sick at this time of year I think...

They are starting to refuse to nap in the late morning. Something that has been part of our routine for over a year now. They are getting older and I know the routine will change, but when they don't get some sleep they are difficult to manage by the time the late afternoon rolls around. They will sometimes sleep in their buggy if we go for a walk or in the car if we drive anywhere. Last Saturday I felt unwell, so I put them in the car to let them sleep and I took to the road.

We went up over the mountain, and past the reservoir. That side of the mountain is usually wild and barren, with a bitter wind blowing, particularly at this time of year, but on Saturday all was calm and still. The reservoir was like a millpond with barely a ripple. It was a perfect mirror. It reflected the snow-topped mountain peak and the vast grey sky.

I could not help but stop the car and get out to take some pictures. I lament my lack of decent camera and resolve to start a little saving fund to remedy the situation. It was magnificent and my phone-camera could not really capture it. Sad face.

I've just discovered another coincidence - this time last year I was also looking at a lake. Maybe being sick and looking at lakes is a 'beginning of Spring' thing for me now... is this how traditions are born?